Seashore's Zero
by Universalperson
Summary: A collection of one-shots devoted to that crazy pairing of Rei/Kaworu. Yes, it is a crazy pairing, don't try to deny it.
1. Valentine

**DISCLAIMER: Do not own Evangelion**

AN: Published the day after Valentine's Day (it would be earlier if wasn't as slow as molasses), we have the first of its kind, a collection of English one-shots based on that nonsensical pairing of Rei/Kaworu, or KAWOREI as the Japanese call it.

I always like to say that this ship is more nonsensical than Zutara...but I still like it.

So...here we are:

* * *

"So I'm worried, because I'm not sure if Asuka _expects_ me to get something for White Day. I mean, in Germany they don't have White Day, just Valentine's Day...but you know that, right?"

Kaworu chuckled. "I do Shinji. But let me tell you; the entire idea of _any _day centered around love is ridiculous. Love is supposed to be spontaneous, not confined to such a meager thing as an arbitrary date on a calendar. Only a Lil..." he paused, remembering that he was a human now. "Well, it's a custom that I do not believe in."

"...So you're not expecting anything from anyone?"

"Some people have tried to give me gifts. But I could not accept them, because I would be obligated to give something back in return. And I do not wish to support this custom, or the merchandising that goes along with it."

"...So I shouldn't get anything for Asuka?"

"I didn't say that. If you feel like you must get her a gift today, then do so. But I must say that..."

A voice broke in. "Excuse me".

The two boys turned around to look at Rei Ayanami, holding a box of chocolates.

She spoke quietly: "It is customary on this date to give a gift, usually of chocolate, to the person you love. Therefore, I give this to you." She held out the box.

Shinji stammered. "Rei...um..."

"My apologies, Shinji-kun. I should have been more specific. I meant the person you love romantically. Though I do love you Shinji, it is just not romantic. It is familial."

"...So if its not for me...then...?"

"It is for Kaworu."

The white haired boy's face changed from interested to surprised. He blinked.

"Your gift is...for me?"

"Yes."

Slowly but surely, Kaworu took the box from Rei's hand. At that point Rei bowed and walked away.

Kaworu stared at the box turning it around, moving his fingers over it, eventually slowly pulling off the plastic.

"Shinji."

"Yes?"

"You're more or less Rei's brother. Do you know what she would want for White Day?"


	2. Dancing

"So I heard that the _'perfect couple'_ is going out to the school dance." Asuka was smirking.

"Is this yet another attempt at mockery, Asuka?" muttered Kaworu.

"That depends. Do you even know what you're supposed to wear?"

"Misato and Kaji helped Kaworu and I pick appropriate clothing for the occasion" droned Rei.

"Well, Kaji approved of it, so I guess it can't be all bad. But do the two of you even know how to dance?"

Silence from the two red-eyed teens.

"You mean you haven't bothered learning how to dance? _Anta baka?"_

"To be honest, we weren't expecting to dance".

"There are other forms of social activity to be done at this particular occasion".

"That's just silly. But lucky for you, you get help from the one and only Asuka Langley Soryu!"

"Kaworu, would a sarcastic response be appropriate?"

"I would say yes."

"Tch." growled Asuka. "The two of you will be thanking me later". And then she turned around. "BAKA SHINJI! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The boy in question quickly ran down, fighting down the automatic "I'm sorry" and asking "What is it, Asuka?"

"You have the honor of being my dance partner."

"But you already taught me!"

"We're doing this for YOUR sister and YOUR best friend. Remember that, Third Child".

Asuka turned to her current 'students'. "Now, watch me and the training dummy closely…."

And the lesson began.

**Ten Minutes Later**

"Now you try!" said Asuka cheerily.

"And um…don't worry if you step on each others toes." said Shinji.

"Baka. Of course they'll step on each others toes."

Rei and Kaworu then stood up, took each other by one hand and draped the other hand over the other's body, and began to dance in utterly perfect harmony.

Asuka's jaw dropped.

Shinji gave an embarrassed smile and scratched the back of his head with one hand.

"But…but…" Asuka struggled for words. "YOU TRICKED ME!" she screamed.

"We did not, Asuka. This is the first time either of us have danced."

"Thank you for helping us. You have given us something wonderful." And the two of them bowed and left.

Asuka rubbed her head. "It took me and the baka ten tries. Ten tries! And these two dance _perfectly!_"

"Asuka…" said Shinji.

"WHY CAN'T I EVER BE THE BEST!"

And Shinji put his arms around her.

"You're always the best to me, Asuka. And you always will be."

She sighed and relaxed into his arms. "Baka." she whispered playfully. "Of course I am."

* * *

Random fluff. 


	3. Newspaper

The moment they heard the announcement, the school reporters mobilized.

They spoke to many students, and took down notes. First came the details.

"He just walked up to her desk and kissed her. And we were like all WHAAAAAAA!"

"And then when he pulled away, she got up and kissed him! It was so…disgusting."

"Hikari-chan couldn't even form words properly. And when that happens to Hikari-chan…well, if _she _couldn't pay attention in class…"

"When class started, it was like nothing happened between them. They didn't even look at each other until the bell rang!"

"And when they walked out, they were holding hands…so romantic."

After the details were the feelings.

"Wait…aren't they related?"

"I knew they would hook up! It's like a match made in heaven!"

"Well, I guess red-eyed freaks should date other red-eyed freaks."

"Ayanami is _dating_ a boy?"

"Nagisa is dating _a girl?_"

"Who are they again?"

"How could she steal my white-haired bishie! WHY KAWORU! WHY!"

"Ayanami…though I've lost you, my love will live on!"

And then some closer sources.

"Well umm…she's like my long lost sister…and I think he's my best friend…so its nice, but its also kind of weird really. I mean, I'm _happy_ for them but…um…I don't know."

"How could she have a boyfriend? Wondergirl doesn't even know what boyfriend means! He's just pitying her. Because we all know he's gay."

"While I'm happy the two of them are together, I also feel that the couple's very EXISTENCE is distracting people from class! I had to give just about everyone detentions due to distraction…including me."

And finally, the source itself.

"Yes, we are currently dating. Why would you find that of importance?"

"Does our relationship entertain you? Are your lives really that uninteresting?"

After which, the notes were taken together and an article was finally formed.

KAWOREI: ANOTHER IMPACT?

Predictably, circulation went up that week.

* * *

Inspired by a hilarious fan-art from FRESH, the website of a Japanese Evangelion fan artist. The picture in question has Kaworu walking over and then leaning down to kiss Rei while she's sitting at her desk. Then if you roll your mouse over the picture, you cut to the reactions of the class…which are predictable and yet still funny. 


	4. Double ReTake

_I like Asuka_.

Ayanami Rei walked towards oblivion.

_There's nothing that can replace her._

Shinji's words echoed in her head.

"Ayanami!"

She turned and looked at Nagisa Kaworu.

Her hair, face and clothes were all covered in red.

"Ayanami…" the boy said, running up and putting his hands on her shoulders, "who _did_ this to you?"

"…I did".

Kaworu blinked. "Why?"

She didn't answer, only turning to walk away.

He then pushed down, forcing her to look at him. His face held genuine concern.

"Rei. Tell me. Why did you do this?"

Rei's voice was quieter than it ever was "I….I…Ikari-kun".

There was a long silence as the two stared at each other.

"Why?" Kaworu asked again.

"I…wanted…to look more like…the Second" she said in that same almost-whisper.

Kaworu then pulled away a bit, paused, and nodded his head a little.

Then he smiled, reached down, picked up a can of black paint, and poured it over his head.

His face then turned into a frightened expression. "I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't"

CRACK!

"You are not Ikari-kun!" Rei was now as loud as she ever was.

Kaworu simply smiled as he rubbed the mark Rei left on his face. "Shinji-kun…is unique. Just as Pilot Soryu is. We cannot become them, no matter how much we try. They are they…and we are we."

Rei turned her head downward. "It hurts" she whispered again.

"Where?"

"…Inside".

He then put his arms around her. "Then you should cry. It will ease the pain".

After a few moments, she did.

* * *

They went into the showers first, to wash off the paint on their bodies, changed into a set of fresh clothes, and then Kaworu followed Rei to her apartment. He noticed she took the contacts out that changed her eye color. Neither of them said a word for the entire walk, until they went inside.

Kaworu took a brief look around the place and said "Sit down. I'll make some tea."

Rei complied. More silence until the kettle steamed over. Kaworu poured the tea into two cups, and then sat down himself, giving one to Rei.

"When did you start liking Shinji-kun?" Kaworu said directly.

"…I don't know." She closed her eyes. "The first time…the first time I touched them, I felt nothing. The second…it was a bit unpleasant…The third time…they were warm…The fourth time…I was happy. I want to touch them again."

"What are they?"

"Ikari-kun's hands."

Kaworu nodded. "You love him" he said simply.

Rei paused for a moment, and then eventually responded. "Yes".

"And you are sad that he doesn't feel the same way in return".

"Yes".

"Because he feels that way about Asuka, which is why you were trying to look like her".

"Yes."

Kaworu then smiled. "He does care about you greatly though. I think…there are many different kinds of love. And while it may not be the love you want, it would foolish of you not to accept the love you already have."

There was silence. "But it still hurts" Rei said quietly.

Kaworu nodded. "Pain is part of the…human condition. But I believe that pain makes them worthy of being loved".

"What does that mean…for me".

And then he slowly took her hand in his own.

"It means I find you worthy of being loved as well."

* * *

Later that evening, Shinji was standing in front of Rei's door.

_I wonder if she's already asleep, _he thought.

He reached out to knock and found it open.

He slowly went in.

The room was dark, so he felt around for the light.

And then he found Rei and Kaworu sleeping peacefully together on the bed, still in their school outfits, holding each other close.

Shinji blinked in surprise.

And then smiled.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Don't own Eva, or Studio Kimibaguchi's Eva fan-comic, Re-Take.**

As you may guess, this is based, rather loosely, of the Japanese Eva fan-comic Re-Take. Of course, I changed the continuity for my benefit.


End file.
